The Weight We Carry: Naming and Healing the Unseen Wounds of Trauma

Series on Trauma and Healing | Part 2

In Part 1, we explored the feeling of being broken inside — and how that quiet ache might be a sign of trauma you’ve never named.

In Part 2, we look more closely at how trauma hides in plain sight. It weaves quietly through your reactions, memories, and sense of safety — an invisible thread shaping parts of you that words can’t fully capture.

These unseen wounds of trauma surface in everyday moments you never expected to carry weight, quietly shaping how you think, feel, react, and connect — long after the event has passed.

It’s a shadow written deep within your body’s story — sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming — but always present beneath the surface.

Trauma isn’t just what happened — it’s what stayed with you.

In the shadows lies the unseen wounds of trauma, quiet pain that shapes us beneath the surface.

What Are the Unseen Wounds of Trauma?

Not all trauma looks like trauma. Sometimes it’s not a single moment, but a collection of emotional wounds carried over time — woven into how you think, feel, and respond, without ever being named.

The unseen wounds of trauma involve deep emotional pain alongside lasting imprints on your nervous system — subtle ways trauma affects the nervous system that you might carry without fully understanding why.

They live in your body, your nervous system, and the survival strategies you developed to cope.

You might not have the “right” words for what happened, or wonder if it even counts as trauma. But if you experience:

• A constant sense of tension or overwhelm

• Emotional numbness or shutdown

• A voice telling you you're not enough

• Sudden irritability, fear, or shutdown in relationships

• Exhaustion that rest never seems to fix

  
  

These are signs of trauma, even if no one ever called them that before.

Even if it happened long ago or others had it “worse,” these feelings are real and worth healing. Recognizing signs of trauma in adulthood is an important part of the trauma healing journey that can lead to renewed safety and connection.

How Trauma Shows Up in Daily Life

Trauma often shows up in patterns more than memories.

It may appear in moments that make you flinch or feel numb — or in ways you’ve come to accept as “just who I am”, such as:

• Saying “I’m fine” when you’re anything but

• Struggling to rest without feeling guilty

• Avoiding intimacy even though you crave connection

• Numbing out with overwork, scrolling, or constant noise

• Feeling unsafe when things feel calm — maybe even creating chaos

• Finding yourself in the same kinds of relationships again and again

• Avoiding feedback, phone calls, confrontation — or even hope

• Minimizing your needs because someone once told you you were “too much”

• Feeling angry and reactive — then ashamed and confused about it

• Putting off tasks that feel overwhelming or painful

• Feeling stuck or frozen when you want to move forward

• Carrying tension or unexplained aches that don’t seem to go away

These aren’t personality flaws or weaknesses.

They’re your nervous system’s way of adapting — shaped by moments that felt unsafe, or were sensed as unsafe, even if you didn’t realize it at the time.

Even if you don’t have a “trauma story” you can point to, your body might still be telling one — and it begins to make more sense when you understand how trauma affects the nervous system.

Recognizing these trauma symptoms in adults can be a crucial step toward complex trauma healing.

Living in Survival Mode

Your body has built-in protection systems that respond to threat — even when the threat is long gone. This is called survival mode.

It doesn’t mean weakness, but having been strong too long without safety.

You may experience:

• Hyperarousal (fight or flight): Anxiety, irritability, insomnia, racing thoughts, muscle tension, emotional overwhelm

• Hypoarousal (freeze or submit): Numbness, exhaustion, brain fog, disconnection, shutdown, lack of motivation

You might shift between these states or stay in one.

And if no one taught you to recognize these states, you might assume this is just how I am.

But it’s not who you are — it’s how your body learned to cope.

The Four Fear Responses

When something overwhelming or threatening happens — physically, emotionally, or relationally — your nervous system doesn’t wait for permission. It acts fast to protect you.

These instinctive survival reactions are known as the four fear responses:

• Fight — You become defensive, irritable, angry, or controlling

• Flight — You become anxious, perfectionistic, overly busy, or avoidant

• Freeze — You feel stuck, foggy, disconnected, or unable to move or speak

• Flop / Submit — You surrender, collapse inward, feel helpless and hopeless, comply, or silently resign

You don’t choose these. Your body does — often before your brain can process what’s happening.

Sometimes these responses are activated during trauma. Other times, they show up later when your nervous system is reminded of past danger — even if the current situation isn’t actually threatening.

This is how trauma shapes your reactions long after the event is over.

These responses don’t mean you’re broken — they mean your nervous system is trying to protect you.

Noticing these trauma responses with compassion is a powerful first step toward healing trauma and beginning to rebuild trust with your body.

The Many Forms Trauma Can Take

Sometimes what shaped you most isn’t what happened —

but what never got spoken.

Not all trauma involves violence or chaos; sometimes it’s the invisible pain of being unseen or unheard.

Trauma can stem from:

• A single moment that changed everything

• A series of experiences that blurred together

• Years of being unseen, unheard, or not quite safe

Common Types of Trauma with Descriptions and Examples

You may not identify with the word “trauma”, and that’s okay.

But if you’ve felt on edge, shut down, or overwhelmed for years, there’s likely more to your story.

Understanding trauma’s many forms isn’t about labelling yourself — it’s about creating space for the truth of what your body has lived through — even if your mind never had the words.

Why Your Nervous System Matters

Trauma isn’t just something that happened in the past.

It’s something your nervous system still remembers.

Even if you’ve forgotten details or appear fine, trauma lives in your reflexes, reactions, muscle tension, startle, and silence.

When your nervous system didn’t have the chance to fully process something overwhelming, it adapted — fast. It learned to stay on guard. To brace. To numb. To perform. To protect.

And those patterns? They aren’t you failing.

They’re you surviving.

The way your body reacts in relationships, in conflict, in moments of restlessness or shutdown — that’s your system trying to keep you safe.

Healing begins with compassionate awareness of these cues, not self-fixing.

You’re not broken — just protected for a long time.

With care, your nervous system can learn safety again.

Starting Your Trauma Healing Journey with Compassion

When you’ve spent years in survival mode, the idea of healing can feel abstract — or even unreachable.

So we start small —with presence, gentleness, and something you can control: your breath, your body, your awareness.

Here’s a practice you can try right now:

A Gentle Invitation to Connect with Yourself

When you feel ready, find a quiet and comfortable space where you can pause for a few moments without interruptions. This practice is about gentle noticing and kindness — no need to fix, change, or judge anything that comes up.

Step 1: Gentle Check-In

• Close your eyes if that feels safe, or soften your gaze.

• Take a slow, natural breath in — and a soft breath out.

• Bring your attention to your body, noticing any sensations you feel — warmth, coolness, tension, or ease.

• You might notice an area that feels safe and supported — or maybe one that feels tight or sensitive. That’s okay.

• If thoughts or emotions arise, simply notice them like clouds passing in the sky. No need to hold on or push them away.

• Silently or softly, ask yourself:

  “What do I feel right now?”

  “Is there a part of me that needs kindness?”

• Let your answers come gently, without pressure.

  
  

Step 2: Offering Yourself Compassion

• Place a hand where it feels comforting — on your heart, your belly, or your lap.

• Take a few more slow, steady breaths.

• Quietly say to yourself, in your own words or using these gentle phrases:

  “I am here for you.”

  “It’s okay to feel this way.”

  “You deserve kindness and care.”

• Notice how it feels to offer yourself this compassion.

• If it feels difficult, that’s okay too — just acknowledging that is part of the kindness.

• When you’re ready, gently bring your awareness back to the room.

Even a few moments of gentle presence is a powerful act of healing.

Starting therapy or healing can sometimes feel overwhelming or unclear. At Liberated Mind Therapy, we offer compassionate support tailored to your needs. Learn more about our individual counselling services designed to help you navigate your journey.

Helpful Resources to Learn More

• Books

  • What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry

  • Trauma Made Simple by Pete Walker

  • It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

• Apps

  • Insight Timer

  • Calm

Remember, healing is a journey — one gentle step at a time.

Coming Next in This Series:

Part 3: The Roots of Trauma: Childhood Trauma Effects in Adults